Awkward Happens

Urban Dictionary Definition for Dating:

Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.

Urban Dictionary definition for a Fling is: 

Deliberately short term sexual relationship between two people. Longer than a one night stand, shorter than an affair...No deep personal involvement required, just the sex and a bit of attention.

With those two definitions being stated, what do you do when you run into someone you were not exactly dating, but more than a fling? Someone that you literally just stopped talking to or they just stopped talking to you for no real apparent reason or at least no reason you really know of? Of course, you can speculate, but speculating doesn't mean anything because you really don't know and kinda don't care. You don't know what they are thinking, they know not what you are thinking and it just ends. No explanation, no contact, nothing. Oh wait there was some contact and nothing returned. Baffles my communicative little mind.


I personally am not usually an awkward person, well, in my head I am a little awkward, but I am not usually one to put my head down and turn around when I see people, but every so often, awkward happens. I might be getting more awkward in my old age or less awkward and more aware of the awkward around.


Not too long ago, I was walking downtown with a guy I was seeing...well, we weren't downtown yet, but we were heading that way and I saw a guy driving, a guy I also kinda dated or maybe flinged it with. I really am still unclear on the definitions of all of these things and think that they are all open to interpretation.

I sometimes have no control over my actions or the words that come out of my mouth, so before I could even think about what I was doing, I stupidly stopped and stared at the car that was turning our way, I had my hands on my hips, left hip jutted out, hands on my hips, mouth open and a stare that anyone could feel. I looked a little like that -->
only my hands were on my hips instead of my head and I wasn't doing a sexy hula move.


Let's be honest, I am in it to amuse myself, so this generally what I do. When I am clearly amusing myself and want someone to look back, you stare, it's a stare you can feel or maybe some other thing that amuses me. I know you feel my stare, I have been working on this stare since I came out of my mom.

So, I am staring at a moving vehicle, staring at maybe the most oblivious man in the world. Current dude notices my funny behavior and asked what on earth I was doing and as I began to say something about what I was doing and who the guy was,  he said "is that another guy you dated? Because that's two we have run into now..." I quickly laugh and explained that this all depends on his definition of dating. Going on a few dates vs dating are radically different things, at least in my mind.

Dude in car, who I stopped and did the heavy stare at, I guess, I kinda dated, I mean we went out in public several times, so more than a few dates, less than dating, more than a fling? What do we call that a Ding? It doesn't really matter, but it was funny. This guy is so oblivious, this is the man who didn't notice I had a freaking rash the first time we met (see blog entry entitled Date Rash), so I giggled and really thought nothing of it. Now matter, current dude and I continued on our merry way.




A few days later dude and I are at the store with his kids, his kids who have balloons in their little paws and are loud. I walked up to dude, to ask a question and I who do I see walking in? Yes him. I think to myself, if that guy is going to Redbox, I am going to freak out, since he hadn't a clue what that was before he met me. We make quick eye contact and I awkwardly and quickly put my head down and turn and run down some aisle with one of the children. I hear other dude say something super loud and then I figure he did the same thing and had walked out, since he was near the door. And, I was WRONG.

Man, two kids and I are now making our way through the store. Ok, man and I are walking up an aisle, kids are running through the aisle with balloons and screaming, I can't make this stuff up (ok, I can, but I'm not). I am just walking along, minding my own business, trying ot give off the vibe that these maniacs are associated with me, but not my spawn and I am texting someone about how awkward that moment was and bam, I walk right into him again with a blonde girl. He sees me again and I quickly find a reason to run away and I literally ran, ok it was more of a fast walk.

I swear I was never like that before. I also don't usually just stop talking to people and then run into them twice in like a week. Can you say AWKWARD because I sure as shit can.

I am not sure what is going on here, but my name is literally on it,
 how could I resist?!

Fish Anyone?

Picture this:
It's opening night of Santa Barbara Film Festival 2014 at the Arlington theatre. Lights, red carpets, paparazzi, lines and I am so excited and I have no idea what I am walking into. I am doing my very best movie star impression: high, long ponytail, sexy black one piece jumpsuit, heels (wedges), big, beautiful earrings and I am rocking it.

Sophia and I saunter into the theatre fashionably late. No lines, no nothing and the best part, we totally have seats waiting for us, compliments of John.

The amazing Arlington theatre is more than packed, apparently there were celebrities attending the event, but I didn't notice. The energy of it all is just so invigorating, I am taking it all in, I hadn't been exposed to this side of Santa Barbara before.

As I am looking around, taking swigs of high end vodka from a water bottle, it dawns on me that everyone is packed into this theatre to watch the opening night movie...and I have no idea what movie we are walking in to, and how on earth are we suppose to sit still through people speaking, a movie to be watched and then go to an after party?


Right on cue, we are asked to quiet down and the speakers begin (I still don't know what movie we are going to watch). I quickly learn that we are about to encounter a documentary...about the ocean, mostly following the amazing woman Sylvia Earle, who we had the honor of seeing live, she was so cute up on the stage. I had never heard of her before and now that I know about her I am fascinated and want to be friends with her, I would suggest looking her up if you haven't heard of her. Oh and the movie is dedicated to a man who always wanted to make this film but is now dead. Is this foreshadowing of what's ahead? I think so.

The movie/documentary, let's call it movie-mentary for fun, begins and all of a sudden, I know it is not going to end well, heaviness is in the air.

The story continues and it becomes clear that there is no way Sylvia can be a person, she is beyond special and she is really a fish or a mermaid and I mean this in the nicest of ways.

Anyway, there is a part in the movie-mentary that stands out to me when Sylvia says she stopped eating fish. I think to myself, nothing is safe to eat anymore, what are we doing to this world?! We are killing too many fish, we are killing too many baby fish, blue fin tuna could easily become extinct. Sharks are being killed just for the fins. I really cannot understand why delicious jerky wouldn't be made out of the rest of their flesh, but whatever. And then I zone out and the movies is over.

The heaviness is still in the air and lights go on. I try to talk and I soon discover that my voice is completely gone. It is now like11 pm on Thursday eve, I have no voice, the movie was good and kinda sad and now time to party, who is up for a party?

Sophia and I contemplate going for sushi (yeah, I said that) and then going home, but instead we rally and head down to the party. It is cold, it is really cold for SB, it is like a freezing 37 degrees. I have blistered feet, I wore wedges so this wouldn't happen, but it did. We are VIP, but they won't let us in through the back. We finally find our entrance and walk in and much to our happy surprise there is much free food and drink.

As soon as I realize there is going to be food, I wonder if any of the restaurant both thingys will be serving fish. The first table, Arlington Tavern, is quite good and the people are so friendly, no fish being served there and I think, good job guys.

We leave the VIP tent and the next stand, we start to approach the stand and I think that I get a glimpse of fish...I think to myself, no way, they didn't?! We get closer and guess what, shrimp. I stop and undoubtedly have a puzzled look on my face and think, am I really seeing this. Then I ask Sophia, is that really shrimp? Are they really serving shrimp? I look and think to myself, are you fucking kidding me? So, maybe they didn't not see the movie, but did not they know the topic of the movie? Poor form guys, poor form.  

We move through the crowed, I am guiding us from food stand to food stand, most are food on the no fish front, we are in the clear. We approach the outdoor dance floor and the food stand is serving, freaking ahi tuna tartare. Ok, I am not the one boycotting fish, just yet, so I march right up and grab me a piece, just before I do that, I say aloud, is this for real? I mean, this is the best dish this particular restaurant has to offer, but did these people have no idea what the opening movie was about? And raw tuna out for hours?

No matter about the fish or the sad movie, we still ended up dancing the night away and I had blisters. If losing your voice, blisters and feeling retarded isn't t he sign of a good night, I don't know what is.

*Poor Baby Blue Fin Tuna, I kinda want you in my belly.

MMM Blue Fin Toro - yes please!