Relationship Marketing, Let's Talk About It

Relationship Marketing. Shared Marketing. Pyramid Schemes. Call it what you want. Let's talk about it. First and foremost, they aren't really pyramids anymore, pyramids would infer that there is an end, a bottom, with the way a lot of them are set-up now, there really is no bottom, at least not with Nerium International, it helps that it is like a billion dollar company that's barely 18 months old, only in the US right now, there is only room for potential, lots of potential!

I was always skeptical, never really wanted to get involved, although I won't lie, I always had that little dream in my head that if i did indeed get involved wiht one of these companies, make billions of dollars and the whole company would love me...it's like that same little day dream I have every time I enter a raffle or play slots (although, last time I played slots, I was given $20 and ended up with $40 something)...so clearly, the dream is attainable.

I know it all sounds kinda hokey and far fetched, but I will tell you what, with a little perseverance and a lot of happiness, anything is possible. Who doesn't want to help people feel better about themselves, make money and be happy? That's pretty much all I want and to save the blonde dogs of the world and paint and be able to put my unborn kids through school and take care of my family and and and...the list of things I am doing goes on and on and NeriumInternational is helping make that possible.

The beauty of it all is that you decide how much time you put into this business. Whether you are in the business or just using the product, it's easy to get the product for free. It's easy to tell people about it. It's easy to listen to phone calls. It's easy to wash your face at night and put some cream on. It's easy to make a lot of money. There is nothing painful about it. And you get walked through it.

So, whether you want to make some $ or look better or both. Let me know, let's discuss and I'll help change your life forever. www.schoolnik.nerium.com

Oh 2013 - It's Such A Pleasure To Finally Meet You

Dear 2013,

I want to take a minute to welcome you,  it's so good to finally meet you. I am so thrilled that you have finally made it here. I am glad you aren't a stupid year, that has a day, rather one second, rather one second, twice really, that has all of the same numbers like 12.12.12 and 12 seconds - only happens once they say, well actually twice right? - and tell me, you sayers - what happens at that exact second? Anything? Because I will tell you what at 12.12.12 with 12 seconds, I felt nothing, both times, I was extrememly let down. I was all geared up for something huge to happen and what do you know, I blinked and the second was over - that was it, nothing happened. WTF?! Way to let me (us?) down 12.12.12 and 12 seconds, pfff, what a crock. How could you do that to us? I mean really?!***

You know 2013, you are on quite the pedestal - like every new year, everyone says that things are going to be better and you hold the promise of big change and each new year, especially the beginning of the year is made out to be a really big deal. Do you think you can live up to all the hype for you 2013???

Personally, I am very pleased that you are here, I've been looking forward to you for years and years and preparing for you since like Septemeber 2012 - I figured I'd get a jump start on an awesome year.

I am very pleased that you are here and we've finally had the honor to meet. I've known deep in my gut of guts that you were going to be an awesome year, not to put you down, but I think every year proceeding you is going to be awesome, mostly because you are setting the stage for the awesomeness. Yes, 2013, you are wonderful and I am pleased to have the honor of being alive when you are upon us.

As for the bitches who give up on you and can't wait for the next year to come, don't take it personally, it's human nature. I think people tend to dream big, but don't take the "scary" or "uncomfortable" steps required to change to move past what you think you are capable of and move into the awesomeness (for lack of a better word) of what you know, deep down inside of you that you can achieve and are really capable of.

I hope that everyone can realize how amazing 2013 is and take the bull by the horns and step up to be all that you know and desire to be, because you can, nothing, except maybe you and that stupid little evil voice(s) in your head are stopping you. I am here to tell you, you can do it. You are probably asking, who are you exactly? I'll tell ya, I'm just a girl - a happy girl, reassuring you that you really can do it - take it or leave it, but I hope you at least step away with something, maybe a smile or a giggle or something more? Anything is possible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

***I'll be honest about 12.12.12 and 12 seconds - I actually thought that was pretty cool, but it sounded better to vent about nothing happened because nothing really did happen. Regardless, of my experience, I got a kick out of all the numbers matching, but I like silly things like that, I also love sparkles - bet y'all didn't know either little fact about me?! Haha. Gotta keep ya on your toes!

****My obligatory NeriumAd plug - If I didn;t include this, I would really be doing a diservice :)
You serious about changing your life? Here is your opportunity to change your skin (all of it) and change your life (physically and financially - how does it get any better than that?!) - contact me for more info about the product and/or the business and on how we can change lives together:
evan.schoolnik@gmail.com
Nerium Nerium Nerium - $$$ - Awesome Skin

Sometimes it's cold, sometimes I bake

Let me start off by saying, I love to bake. Due to my sensitive stomach and pretty strict diet, generally I don't bake things I can't eat - such as "normal" cookies, however, ever once in awhile I get a baking bug....
(Check out my Evanly Delights on the Facebook).

My absolute fave time to bake is when it's nice and cold out (and inside) - it gets so cold in our house that  the oven has to go on, so I might as well take advantage of the oven being on, right?! Right.

The other evening I started thinking about baking, when I woke up in the morning, I still wanted to bake. So, after the gym at 6 am, I made my way to the market for supplies for my (wait for it, wait for it) oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies. Not only were they oreo stuffed, but they were double stuffed and one half of the cookie was chocolate, the other vanilla...so, I of course used white and semi-sweet chocolate chips.

I shockingly didn't really eat any of the dough or the cookies, but the feedback so far has been impressive. I love putting things in cookies. Last year, I put caramels from TJ's, thin mints, somosas, next I think I shall stuff my cookies with love and marshmallows, maybe even homemade marshmallows...yes, that will be happening, if that sounds good, you should probably stay tuned, so you can get your hot little hands on them.

The Dog Who Watches T.V.

I have heard about dogs who watch T.V. but never really seen it before...until one of my 3 heard something that peaked his interest...

Yes, I am easily amused and especially amused by my beastlettes. Call me crazy and enjoy. :)

Oh 2 Years - Where Have You Gone?!

Two years ago I swore I would start blogging. Luckily, I never said when I would actually start it up again, I think today is that day. It feels like a good day to blog.

It's funny that it has already been 2 years since my last blog post and so much and so little has happened and the time seriously flew by. I remember in 1987 - I was 7 years old, at Marquez Elementary in Ms. Sakabe's (sp?) class - I believe 2nd grade (is that right? I think I was with Ms. Vazenilels - sp again?) Anyway, I remember thinking, I love being 7 and I love that it's 1987 and I hope it stays like this forever. I also remember talking to a pal of mine realizing we were both jewish and we thought that was the coolest thing ever, because it totally is. Anyway, I also remember my parents saying, enjoy it all, because it goes by fast and as much as I loved 1987 and being 7 - it felt like forever until I would turn 8 and then 9 and then 10 and so on - now time is flying by.

How did I get to be 32 years old with 3 dogs and a car payment?

I'm not really that grown up though. I mean, grown ups own irons and fold their clothes and do other grown up things that I probably don't do, like balance their checkbooks and regularly wash their cars. Actually, I've been pretty good on the car wash front.

I do have a couple of grown up jobs. I'm a project coordinator for a company that makes apps for hotels (mostly for hotels) which I love. I do social media part time. I am also a partner in an amazingly amazing company called Nerium International (yes this is my plug for Nerium, please get used to it and try not to judge me too much) - Awesomest anti-aging cream that has more than just anti aging effects, but also helps with scarring, discoloration and actually helps firm the skin (think botox, but naturally). Check it out - lots of potential: http://schoolnik.nerium.com On that note, I will now go back to my grown up jobs and check in with the bloggy blog a little later.

 Happy Monday everyone, happy monday!

another beautiful morning!

David Sedaris and the Seizure Lizard

I am reading a David Sedaris book pretty much as we speak and it almost inspires me to write things down again, almost, totally. I read, I laugh, I think, mostly I think about the time I went to see/hear David speak in San Antonio a few years ago. I was so excited to go because if I went there was a great possibility of meeting him and making him my new best friend (along with Augusten Burroughs of course). So, my man friend at the time and I drove to SA, where we were a few minutes late, but I don't think David noticed, we were very respectful when entering the theatre, there was minimal toe stepping.

I was really into what David S. was saying, but mostly I could not stop thinking about what I was going to say to him when we finally met. I had to think of something good, something super catchy and smart so he would want to be best friends with me. I half listened to what he said, laughed at the appropriate times (just in case he saw me in the audience, I didn't want him to think I wasn't thoroughly amused by him). I kept saying lines and asking questions over and over in my head, giggling a little to myself, mentally patting myself on the back, I would win him over yet...the only problem was, that the main question that kept popping into my head was "did everything happen to David last week and yesterday?" He kept talking about all these things that happened to him last week and yesterday, for example, he went to the zoo and saw spider monkeys masturbating last week when he was in Boston..Ok, so that is the only example I can think of at the moment, but I know he mentioned things that happened yesterday or last week throughout the entire reading...nothing and I mean nothing happened five years ago...

Anyway, when David was finished speaking, we were invited to form a line to buy books and get autographs, etc. Normally, I would just walk out and discuss, but this was a special case, I wanted to be the first in line, after all I was on a mission, David Sedaris and I were going to be friends, maybe even best friends. So, I put my ego aside a little and allowed myself to be seen as one of those crazy people who wait in line for over an hour to simply speak to the "star". I was even a little nervous.

While we are waiting in line, I couldn't help but overhear the two blonde Dallas or Houston girls talking in front of us. I kept looking at them wondering if either them had actually ever read a book, they didn't look like the book types if you know what I mean. I don't totally recall what they were talking about, but I know it involved a lot of giggles and likes, so, of course, I was pretty much horrified and fascinated with them and they were so close to me, I had to exchange a few words with them. The conversation pretty much went like this:
girls: we love david
me: yeah, me too
girls: we drove all the way from houston (or dallas), where did y'all come from?
me: austin
girls: oh, how long did that take?
me: an hour and a half or so
girls: oh, we drove three hours and we are driving back tonight
me: oh
me in my head: what is this? a freakin contest?

As we got closer and closer, I got more and more nervous and could hardly speak. My hands began to sweat, words were swirling in my head, what was I going to say? What was I going to ask? It was almost my time! The girls stepped up to David and I was next, it was almost GO time! I then had this overwhelming sense of calm and knew David and I would fall into a deep friend love affair, I was busy fantasizing about our friendship when I was abruptly jolted back to reality when I heard David ask one of the girls, "So, what do you do for a living and what's the strangest thing you have ever encountered at your job?" My headed started racing, I was looking for an answer, a clever one to give him, because surely he would ask me the same question! Then I heard one of them answer, in her cute little dumb southern drawl, "Well" heehee "I'm a flight attendant and I guess the strangest thing I ever did see was a Seizure Lizard." FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, how was I ever going to out do a Seizure Lizard, I didn't even know what one of those were, but come on!!!!!!!!! David was as intrigued as I was, maybe even more intrigued. She went on to explain that some passenger that boarded one of her flights was prone to seizures and he brought on a lizard with him that would apparently alert the flight deck if the man was about to have a seizure...of course he didn't, but still a goddamn seizure lizard! ARG! How was I ever going to beat that?

So, seizure lizard lady and her blonde friend moved on and finally it was my turn! I was so excited and nervous I didn't even know what to do with myself, so I started with a simple, "Hello" and handed my books over and asked for an autograph for my roommate's boyfriend. David obliged me and then he started to draw a pumpkin head in one of my books just as I asked, "David, may I ask you a question?" and he said, "Anything..." I then continued on, slowly, cautiously, "So, does everything happen to last week or yesterday?" I thought I was being clever, until he stopped mid drawing and I swear I threw him, the pen almost went off of the page he was sketching on and he just looked at me like I had 10 heads. And that was it, it was over, my time was up and I had failed. So, I lowered my 10 heads and said "Thanks."

From that moment on I knew I would have to become famous, perhaps a famous writer and best friend Augusten and then David would be so jealous he would beg to be my friend...
So far, I am still working on it...after a few years of trying to stay away from David's books, I am back on the David Sedaris train, full throttle.