Men, you don't have to listen to me, but you might want to listen, I sometimes actually know what I am talking about...
2. Interest and persistence is great, but don't send the same email 10 times to the same girl. And if by far off chance the girl does actually respond, don't annoy her and send her 10 more emails, especially when you know she is a busy girl and waaaay out of your league. P.S. Props to writing a girl who is out of your league, but please at least pretend be cool.
3. If you want to "talk" to a girl, you might want to keep the conversation going and ask her a question or two. That goes for real life girls too. Be cool men, be cool, you can do it!
4. Be Positive. I personally would not start a profile out with all the No's, it's just so negative and it is even worse when the Negative Ned is a single 39 year old male, his no's consist of: no widowers, no one with kids, no tattoos and no one who is married --> best of lucky buddy, best of luck.
5. Never should you ever have a body shot (body shot = pic of your body, usually cutting of your head). Even if you do have a killer bod, no need to show that off, there will be time for it...doing the bod shot, especially as your main image is really fucking cheesy and lame.
6. Don't send girls wiener pictures without them requesting it, even if you really think she wants it, she probably does not and it is really not cool and totally creepy.
7. If you are trying to get a girl to go out with you, you probably should not call her a liar or tell her she is being a dick.
8. Refrain from acting like a jealous boyfriend after one meeting or never meeting.
9. Refrain from saying how much you miss her after 24 hours of meeting her in the flesh. No need to be a creepster. Feelings are fine, you don't need to share them quite yet.
This is just a day in the life of my brain. Most of the entries are 100% true, but be forewarned that the thoughts are only mine and there are 3 sides to every story. There are probably some spelling errors or something in there. Also, anything having to do with bathrooms and food are 500, million % true, I would never exaggerate about a bathroom or food, ever. Speaking of bathrooms and food, check out the newest and coolest endevor: TasteSantaBarbaraFoodTours.com
Disclaimers
Very Important Disclaimers:
1. I have a very active imagination and while most of these stories are mostly true, some of them have some exaggerations and are also only from my perspective, as well all know there are three sides to every story.
2. If you think this is about you, it's not.
3. If you are easily offended, you probably shouldn't read this blog. Go away, get out while you can!
4. If you like being offended or laughing out loud at the random shit that happens to me in my daily life, please proceed.
5. Do NOT forget to laugh, but only when appropriate. Try not to laugh too hard at my pain, or do, whatever.
6. I hate even numbers
7. I update the blog posts often, so even if you have read one once, it has probably changed a bit.
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