Not too long ago, I gave a few tips of things men should probably not do when online dating. I have come across a few more things that dudes should really not do. Ladies, if you are doing any of the things below, you need therapy, a lot of it, but don't worry, I'm not judging you.
1. Don't message a girl and ask if she wants to do it with you because you are driving through town. At least warm her up with some compliments first. Maybe offer to buy her some dinner first.
2. Don't message a girl and ask if she prefers men who are circumcised or not. That's all you have to say? I don't want to know, thanks for the visual, you fucking fuck.
3. Do message sweet things to girls, but when she finally gives you her number, don't ask for a picture, so you have one for her in your phone AND definitely do not then ask for her name AGAIN because you forgot. You are an idiot.
4. #3 don't continue to text her if she isn't responding, it's over, you ended it. Persistence is nice and all, but if she isn't responding or changed her phone number, take a hint.
5. #3 and #4 Ok, so lady, maybe you should not have given dude your number, but you did and dude, now that you have done both #3 and #4 and now you decided to find her on snapchat and proceed with the annoyance. Really, give it up.
6. Again, need I remind you, no wiener shots, unless requested! Especially on the snapchat, come on, get some class!
7. Dudes, people are crazy and we all know you think the ladies are crazy and sometimes we are, no need to point out the obvious, just pisses us off more, then you might really have to deal with the crazy.
8. If you want to take a girl out and ask for her number, that's great, use the fucking number. Pick up your fucking phone and call, yes, dial the actual number, hear her voice, this request a date via text bullshit is ridiculous, grow a pair, she can't bite over the phone, jeez.
9. Don't over stalk, do the perfect amount of research and you don't need to tell her you did this at first, she assumes you did, but wait awhile to tell her, like a few dates, after you know you both like each other.
10. If you do no research, even after being Facebook etc. friends (this makes it so easy), you are one lazy mofo and sadly, she probably likes you, but laziness gets old, don't be lazy.
11. Those even numbers get me every time!
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
What is THAT Child?!
When I was born, I was a bald baby...well, I had super light peach fuzz. I was one of those babies where it was kind of difficult to tell if I was a boy or a girl and adding insult to injury, I had and still have what is known as a boys name. My mom tried, she gave me a super girly middle name, dressed me up in pink and purple and had me sport a "necklace" (her anklet). Try as she might, people would approach her and say "what a beautiful baby boy, what's his name?" My mom would say "HER name is Evan Elizabeth." "He is so cute." Mom, held tit. Eventually the golden locks started to grow in and I started to really look like a girl, instead of an androgynous baby. I also sometimes had the propensity to run around the beach naked and since I had and still have a vagina, it was pretty clear I was and still am a girl.
A little less than four years later my brother (Ren) was born. Unlike me, he was born with a head of hair and people would say "what a beautiful baby girl, what is his name?" And my mom would say "HIS name is Ren Alexander" response from person, "She is adorable." In these people's defense, what the fuck kind of a name is Ren anyway? I mean really, Ren is a misspelled bird, but does anyone know what a wren looks like? I don't and my parents probably didn't. OK, that's not true, they are pretty smart and probably did know that the wren bird (below) looked nothing like their child.
However, no matter what my parents say, I still think my brother was named after Kevin Bacon's character in Footloose. Ren was born in 1984 the same year Footloose came out, coincidence, I think not! Ren doesn't look like Kevin Bacon at all either...
However, no matter what my parents say, I still think my brother was named after Kevin Bacon's character in Footloose. Ren was born in 1984 the same year Footloose came out, coincidence, I think not! Ren doesn't look like Kevin Bacon at all either...
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Craigslist: Missed Connections
I'm slightly obsessed with Craiglist. Not bad obsessed, just mildly attracted to it. Ok, I admit it, I look at the site often. It provides me with hours of entertainment. You're probably thinking that is nuts, how can anyone sit on Craigslists for hours. Well, I am fairly certain you can, but I am only on it a few minutes at a time, in various sections. It's like a one stop shop for a plethora of things. You can look for jobs, animals, housing, dates and free shit on there and so much more.
I'm wild for Missed Connections. So amusing. I especially love the man to man ones, they are so dirty and usually have to do with sex in the bathroom gym or glory holes (I'm not even sure what that is. CORRECTION, my mom was nice enough to inform me about Glory Holes, please see * below for her comments on the Glory Holes). Reading those makes me so grateful to not have to go into a dude bathroom especially at the gym, some dirty shit goes on there and if I'm saying it's dirty, you know it is capital D-irty.
Way dirtier than than picture --->
I secretly or not so secretly always hope that someone will write one just for me. And has never done anything in their life like it before, but had to take a chance and leave it up to fate that we would connect.
The extended version of the romantic day dream I have goes like this:
Someone awesome, not creepy, sees me from a distance and can't get over to me for some reason and by the time he can, I have vanished. He can't stop thinking about me, so on the far off (or not so far off chance) writes me a Missed Connection, hoping I will see it. I, of course, do see it and I know exactly who it is and of course we connect. Then we will probably fall madly in love, I will be asked to marry him (in some big elaborate and awesome gesture), get a big beautiful, sparkly diamond and we will probably have the best marriage ever and live happy every after, because we all know that happens.
On second thought, after reading the above, I've decided that maybe that isn't the most romantic thing ever. I mean if thedude doesn't know that I am the one right off the bat and doesn't have the balls to march right up to me right then and there, then maybe he is retarded and weird.
I know, I intimidate dudes with my good looks and boyish sense of humor. I mean come on, I'm like the full package and clearly men can sense that from a distance or maybe they are confused with how I act. Perhaps, I will start pulling guys hair to give them a sign that I am interested, you think that will do the trick without being too forward? haha.
I crack myself up.
Just for the record, I have gotten a missed connection once or twice and I didn't even write it myself, someone else did, not even lying.
*Compliments of my mom
"by the way.....a glory hole is where you stick your dick through a hole in the wall and get an anonymous blowjob.....usually available in a pawn shop.....especially in Vegas...Correction Porn shop, not Pawn, although you might be able to get them there too.
I'm wild for Missed Connections. So amusing. I especially love the man to man ones, they are so dirty and usually have to do with sex in the bathroom gym or glory holes (I'm not even sure what that is. CORRECTION, my mom was nice enough to inform me about Glory Holes, please see * below for her comments on the Glory Holes). Reading those makes me so grateful to not have to go into a dude bathroom especially at the gym, some dirty shit goes on there and if I'm saying it's dirty, you know it is capital D-irty.
Way dirtier than than picture --->
I secretly or not so secretly always hope that someone will write one just for me. And has never done anything in their life like it before, but had to take a chance and leave it up to fate that we would connect.
The extended version of the romantic day dream I have goes like this:
Someone awesome, not creepy, sees me from a distance and can't get over to me for some reason and by the time he can, I have vanished. He can't stop thinking about me, so on the far off (or not so far off chance) writes me a Missed Connection, hoping I will see it. I, of course, do see it and I know exactly who it is and of course we connect. Then we will probably fall madly in love, I will be asked to marry him (in some big elaborate and awesome gesture), get a big beautiful, sparkly diamond and we will probably have the best marriage ever and live happy every after, because we all know that happens.
On second thought, after reading the above, I've decided that maybe that isn't the most romantic thing ever. I mean if thedude doesn't know that I am the one right off the bat and doesn't have the balls to march right up to me right then and there, then maybe he is retarded and weird.
I know, I intimidate dudes with my good looks and boyish sense of humor. I mean come on, I'm like the full package and clearly men can sense that from a distance or maybe they are confused with how I act. Perhaps, I will start pulling guys hair to give them a sign that I am interested, you think that will do the trick without being too forward? haha.
I crack myself up.
Just for the record, I have gotten a missed connection once or twice and I didn't even write it myself, someone else did, not even lying.
*Compliments of my mom
"by the way.....a glory hole is where you stick your dick through a hole in the wall and get an anonymous blowjob.....usually available in a pawn shop.....especially in Vegas...Correction Porn shop, not Pawn, although you might be able to get them there too.
Monday, August 19, 2013
It's Not Cheating If... 12 of the Stupidest Reasons He Has Convinced Himself He Isn't Cheating, but Is.
I once dated a guy, who I am fairly certain convinced himself there were ways around his cheating ways. These are a few of the things I swear went through his head. Ok, I'm not sure, because he never told him, but they are definitely what I imagined went through his head.
1. It's not cheating if you don't kiss her on the mouth
2. It's not cheating if you don't stay the night
3. It's not cheating if, you let her give you a blowjob
4. It's not cheating if you go down on her and she doesn't cum
5. It's not cheating if you go down on her and she doesn't see or touch you
6. It's not cheating if you masturbate in the room together, next to each other, even in the bed, just as long as you don't touch...much
7. It's not cheating if, she gives you a lap dance and she only touches you, you had no control over her or your penis
8. It's not cheating if you dated her in the past
9. It's not cheating if you have her in your phone under a different name, no one will ever know who or what you are doing
10. It's not cheating if you are better looking than her
11. It's not cheating if, you tell no one, ever, except your boys of course, because they won't tell anyone ever
12. It's not cheating if you deny, deny, deny and lie, lie, lie and accuse, accuse, accuse the other person of doing everything that you've been doing
1. It's not cheating if you don't kiss her on the mouth
2. It's not cheating if you don't stay the night
3. It's not cheating if, you let her give you a blowjob
4. It's not cheating if you go down on her and she doesn't cum
5. It's not cheating if you go down on her and she doesn't see or touch you6. It's not cheating if you masturbate in the room together, next to each other, even in the bed, just as long as you don't touch...much
7. It's not cheating if, she gives you a lap dance and she only touches you, you had no control over her or your penis
8. It's not cheating if you dated her in the past
9. It's not cheating if you have her in your phone under a different name, no one will ever know who or what you are doing
10. It's not cheating if you are better looking than her
11. It's not cheating if, you tell no one, ever, except your boys of course, because they won't tell anyone ever
12. It's not cheating if you deny, deny, deny and lie, lie, lie and accuse, accuse, accuse the other person of doing everything that you've been doing
Saturday, August 17, 2013
General People Watching...
People watching is one of my fave past times. I love to watch how people interact with one another, I also really love to come up with stories for people. A guy and a girl holding hands or better yet kissing they probably a new couple and still like each other. Let's talk about old people holding hands or better yet kissing!
I have two thoughts on this one. The romantic in me (Yes, I do have a romantic side) wants them to have been together forever and happy! Then there is the more omni present realist or cynic in me, that wonders how long have they been together OR are they even legitimately together? Are they cheating on their spouses, because they are old and boring? So many possibilities! Then of course, I have to take it a step further (me take something a step further? what?! what?!) this couple may even be doing it, that's right, putting the "p" in the "v". Yup, I totally just gave you that visual. You're welcome
How about the tired, frustrated and embarrassed mom, with the screaming child. The mom is trying everything in her power to get the child to calm, but it* just won't, then child does something that mom tells it not to do and child gets a slight tap on the tush, which then makes child scream bloody murder.
Generally, we or I think mom is the bad guy. I used to think this way, my thoughts have since changed on this topic. Is it really the mom's fault? This child is clearly using its manipulation skills and adorable face to make you feel sorry for it.
Mom, I want to give it up to you and buy you a drink sister. You carried that alien child in you for 9 months (or however long it really is) and probably pushed it out of your vagina and if you didn't, then you got a nice scar to remind you that you held that child in and now you are rearing that baby. You are amazing, congrats on keeping it alive. *Yeah, I called the child an it, I couldn't decide if I wanted the child to be a boy or a girl, so it's an it!
Everywhere I am, I just like to sit and watch and come up with stories about people. Occasionally, I will be close enough to these people, proximity wise, grow some balls (not that I don't already have them, but that those two words, totally just made the story better) and strike up a convo with the people, it is so much fun to see how much of my made up story is actually true.
Every so often I encounter someone who make me feel a little stupid. Like "duh" stupid. There are two types of people who can do this to me.
1. People who are really, really dense, funny enough, I have found that they are usually pot heads. It's the strangest, I just start to feel spaces out and it's very difficult for me to carry on a convo with them. I can still do it, but I feel off.
2. The really, really, really ridiculously good looking people. To be honest, I'm not sure there are that many of those around, I mean from afar or a quick glance there are a ton of hotties, but then look a little closer, study them and you are bound to find a few flaws that make them more normal look. And to be perfectly honestly, I probably wouldn't want to have a convo with them. What if they have a really high voice? Or are really, really stupid? The possibilities of issues that could be encountered are endless. It's also totally fun to just sit there, make up stories about them in your head and and let them be pretty. Only you and your mind know what's going on. It's our little secret.
So, there is this dude who owns a restaurant or two in town (yes, there are more than one of those in these parts) and he shall remain nameless forever (some of you totally know who I speak of) and I swear to god, every single time I get within 10 feet of him, I get stupid. I don't even have to be looking at him and I can feel that damn energy. I', actually unsure if he is even that great looking, I hear he is straight, but I have my doubts. Regardless, I get straight dumb. I have literally run into him 100 times and I still can't get a good convo going with him, even when I was drunk once I couldn't get it or keep it going (I don't actually remember). Now that I think about it more, maybe it's not even me and it's him and he IS totally intimidated by my good looks or maybe he is gay or maybe he can't keep a convo going. Regardless, it is kind of fun to get stupid around people, reminds me of, well, I don't know what it reminds me, but something I am sure.
And that pretty much wraps up today's thoughts on people watching.
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, maybe I will start Tweeting.
And if you want awesome, younger looking skin, do yourself a favor and get some Nerium dudes and dudetters. www.schoolnik.nerium.com
Peace and love. Happy Saturday!
I have two thoughts on this one. The romantic in me (Yes, I do have a romantic side) wants them to have been together forever and happy! Then there is the more omni present realist or cynic in me, that wonders how long have they been together OR are they even legitimately together? Are they cheating on their spouses, because they are old and boring? So many possibilities! Then of course, I have to take it a step further (me take something a step further? what?! what?!) this couple may even be doing it, that's right, putting the "p" in the "v". Yup, I totally just gave you that visual. You're welcome
How about the tired, frustrated and embarrassed mom, with the screaming child. The mom is trying everything in her power to get the child to calm, but it* just won't, then child does something that mom tells it not to do and child gets a slight tap on the tush, which then makes child scream bloody murder.
Generally, we or I think mom is the bad guy. I used to think this way, my thoughts have since changed on this topic. Is it really the mom's fault? This child is clearly using its manipulation skills and adorable face to make you feel sorry for it.
Mom, I want to give it up to you and buy you a drink sister. You carried that alien child in you for 9 months (or however long it really is) and probably pushed it out of your vagina and if you didn't, then you got a nice scar to remind you that you held that child in and now you are rearing that baby. You are amazing, congrats on keeping it alive. *Yeah, I called the child an it, I couldn't decide if I wanted the child to be a boy or a girl, so it's an it!Everywhere I am, I just like to sit and watch and come up with stories about people. Occasionally, I will be close enough to these people, proximity wise, grow some balls (not that I don't already have them, but that those two words, totally just made the story better) and strike up a convo with the people, it is so much fun to see how much of my made up story is actually true.
Every so often I encounter someone who make me feel a little stupid. Like "duh" stupid. There are two types of people who can do this to me.
1. People who are really, really dense, funny enough, I have found that they are usually pot heads. It's the strangest, I just start to feel spaces out and it's very difficult for me to carry on a convo with them. I can still do it, but I feel off.
2. The really, really, really ridiculously good looking people. To be honest, I'm not sure there are that many of those around, I mean from afar or a quick glance there are a ton of hotties, but then look a little closer, study them and you are bound to find a few flaws that make them more normal look. And to be perfectly honestly, I probably wouldn't want to have a convo with them. What if they have a really high voice? Or are really, really stupid? The possibilities of issues that could be encountered are endless. It's also totally fun to just sit there, make up stories about them in your head and and let them be pretty. Only you and your mind know what's going on. It's our little secret.
So, there is this dude who owns a restaurant or two in town (yes, there are more than one of those in these parts) and he shall remain nameless forever (some of you totally know who I speak of) and I swear to god, every single time I get within 10 feet of him, I get stupid. I don't even have to be looking at him and I can feel that damn energy. I', actually unsure if he is even that great looking, I hear he is straight, but I have my doubts. Regardless, I get straight dumb. I have literally run into him 100 times and I still can't get a good convo going with him, even when I was drunk once I couldn't get it or keep it going (I don't actually remember). Now that I think about it more, maybe it's not even me and it's him and he IS totally intimidated by my good looks or maybe he is gay or maybe he can't keep a convo going. Regardless, it is kind of fun to get stupid around people, reminds me of, well, I don't know what it reminds me, but something I am sure.
And that pretty much wraps up today's thoughts on people watching.
Don't forget to follow me on Twitter, maybe I will start Tweeting.
And if you want awesome, younger looking skin, do yourself a favor and get some Nerium dudes and dudetters. www.schoolnik.nerium.com
Peace and love. Happy Saturday!
Friday, August 16, 2013
Does Facebook Stalking Count?
I am not ashamed to admit it, I am a huge fan of the Facebook. I love that it allows me to get a peek into other people's lives without having to actually be in their lives. Yeah, I understand that might be a little creepy, but it really cuts out a lot of work that I don't have time for. It can also give you a lot of valuable information, for instance, if you meet a new guy at a bar, you can eye fuck him on the Facebook. Got an interview, eye fuck the employer on Facebook. Looking to move into a new place, eye fuck the landlords on Facebook. Ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend, eye fuck them both on Facebook. Just want to peer into other people's lives to make you feel better or worse or ambivalent about your life, eye fuck them on Facebook. Don't want to talk to someone, but curious about their lives, eye fuck them on Facebook. It's just too easy. Thank you Mark Zuckerburg and the angry meat-head twins.
Of course it works both ways, you can peek into other people's lives and those fuckers can do the same to you. One of the awesomest things is that we can totally control how much and what we want to show. Like me personally, I think everyone should always be happy and beautiful on the Facebook all the time. I don't want to see you crying about this or that, no one does.
There are mixed reviews on the topic of posting food and drink pics. I personally am obsessed with most things food and sometimes live vicariously through others who are able to eat naughty food and drink often. I like to know what most people are eating for all meals. I want fucking details bitches. But I am aware that I am weird and that not everyone is like that, but I am a fan, so keep it up please.
I also like to see dog pictures, especially dogs that need homes, great way to spread the word.I also like to post pics of my dogs. I think they are the cutest, who doesn't want to see cute dogs? Fuck you if you don't, you're stupid.
I am still adjusting to sonogram pictures. I see a baby announcement and then a sonogram and all I can think of is "those two had sex" and "that baby is going to come out of her vagina", "she has a vagina", heehee.
Then there are the non facebookers. I don't know what's wrong with them, they must have lives or something.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
A Few Ditties About the Doggies
Not that this topic really interests anyone but me, but here are some ditties about the doggies.
Top 10 ReasonsWazowski Rocks (Today)
1. He is chilling on my bed, with his head on the pillow
2. He isn't too cuddly and he isn't too cold
3. He likes to clean himself and everyone around him, especially if it involved reminiscence of food and/or lotion
4. He makes you feel so special when he gently rests his head on one of your body parts, usually a leg
5. He pees outside
6. He has his own personality
7. He is a man trapped in a handsome dog bod
8. He eats what I give him (and sometimes what I don't give him)
9. He has telepathic powers and tells other animals what to do and they listen
10. He's the dude
Top 10 Reasons, Atticus is so Awesome (Today)...
1. He is chilling while I work
2. He is so damn cute
3. He has the beast breath, I want to package it and call it Atty Breath - don't steal my idea
4. He has yet to eat a small child (coming close does not count)
5. I am fairly certain he constantly has the fair theme song going on in his head at all times
6. He listens to Wazwsoki's psychic powers
7. He is a love muffin
8. He loves me
9. He is tenacious, bless his heart, he doesn't really know how to play with other dogs (we can thank Wazowski for that) but he still tries
10. He loves girl dogs of all shapes and sizes, he recognizes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes
Top 5 Reasons They Are "Special" Today
1. They are shedding on my bed
2. They actually think they could beat the cat in a fight
3. They are not sure if small children are children or animals
4. Atticus likes to sunbathe in a waterless kiddy pool and bark
5. Wazowski is ignoring me when I tell he needs to do something because he just wants to rest or simply not do what I want him to
Top 10 ReasonsWazowski Rocks (Today)
1. He is chilling on my bed, with his head on the pillow
2. He isn't too cuddly and he isn't too cold
3. He likes to clean himself and everyone around him, especially if it involved reminiscence of food and/or lotion
4. He makes you feel so special when he gently rests his head on one of your body parts, usually a leg
5. He pees outside
6. He has his own personality
7. He is a man trapped in a handsome dog bod
8. He eats what I give him (and sometimes what I don't give him)
9. He has telepathic powers and tells other animals what to do and they listen
10. He's the dude
Top 10 Reasons, Atticus is so Awesome (Today)...
1. He is chilling while I work2. He is so damn cute
3. He has the beast breath, I want to package it and call it Atty Breath - don't steal my idea
4. He has yet to eat a small child (coming close does not count)
5. I am fairly certain he constantly has the fair theme song going on in his head at all times
6. He listens to Wazwsoki's psychic powers
7. He is a love muffin
8. He loves me
9. He is tenacious, bless his heart, he doesn't really know how to play with other dogs (we can thank Wazowski for that) but he still tries
10. He loves girl dogs of all shapes and sizes, he recognizes that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes
Top 5 Reasons They Are "Special" Today
1. They are shedding on my bed
2. They actually think they could beat the cat in a fight
3. They are not sure if small children are children or animals
4. Atticus likes to sunbathe in a waterless kiddy pool and bark
5. Wazowski is ignoring me when I tell he needs to do something because he just wants to rest or simply not do what I want him toPremature Cuddle Requests
Let's talk about cuddling. I actually don't have much to say on the topic at this time, but I'm sure I can come up with something. As you know, I rarely have little to say about much.
From my research along the years, I have found that most people seem to dig a good cuddle, I mean why not? Two bodies close to each other, it's sweet and can be sexy. It can make you feel small or large (in a good way), it can make you feel safe and loved. That being said, these euphoric feelings generally occur when you are cuddling with someone you like at a time that feels right.
Then there are the people who prematurely request or try to cuddle at the complete wrong times. I am not talking about 16 year old types, I am talking about people who are of legal age and should have some idea about the right timing to cuddle.
I personally like a good cuddle, sometimes. The time and person have to be right and to be perfectly honest, I generally like to cuddle and roll over, maybe a little foot touching...maybe it is because of my past relationships, I don't know, maybe I am full of shit, but for serious, I generally like a lil space, sometimes not. It all depends. Regardless, when the time and the person are right, I am all about cuddling. However, when a dude asks to cuddle before even meeting or right when meeting and not in a joking way, that does not make me want to cuddle, maybe some girls are into that (ladies if you are into that, you might want to reflect on the reasons why you like that) it actually makes me want to run screaming and laughing.
The premature cuddle request sentiment is sweet and all, but really?! Dudes, you really gotta make sure the women are feeling it too, don't push it, be cool and if you aren't cool, at least act cool. Acting cool doesn't mean being a dick, just not totally retarded. Better yet, play a little hard to get, not too hard, just keep your cuddle urges to yourself, until you know the feeling is mutual or even better than that, wait until the mood takes you there...if cuddling is meant to happen, let it happen, if not, well, at least you got the urge to cuddle and didn't prematurely request a cuddle.
From my research along the years, I have found that most people seem to dig a good cuddle, I mean why not? Two bodies close to each other, it's sweet and can be sexy. It can make you feel small or large (in a good way), it can make you feel safe and loved. That being said, these euphoric feelings generally occur when you are cuddling with someone you like at a time that feels right.
Then there are the people who prematurely request or try to cuddle at the complete wrong times. I am not talking about 16 year old types, I am talking about people who are of legal age and should have some idea about the right timing to cuddle.
I personally like a good cuddle, sometimes. The time and person have to be right and to be perfectly honest, I generally like to cuddle and roll over, maybe a little foot touching...maybe it is because of my past relationships, I don't know, maybe I am full of shit, but for serious, I generally like a lil space, sometimes not. It all depends. Regardless, when the time and the person are right, I am all about cuddling. However, when a dude asks to cuddle before even meeting or right when meeting and not in a joking way, that does not make me want to cuddle, maybe some girls are into that (ladies if you are into that, you might want to reflect on the reasons why you like that) it actually makes me want to run screaming and laughing.
The premature cuddle request sentiment is sweet and all, but really?! Dudes, you really gotta make sure the women are feeling it too, don't push it, be cool and if you aren't cool, at least act cool. Acting cool doesn't mean being a dick, just not totally retarded. Better yet, play a little hard to get, not too hard, just keep your cuddle urges to yourself, until you know the feeling is mutual or even better than that, wait until the mood takes you there...if cuddling is meant to happen, let it happen, if not, well, at least you got the urge to cuddle and didn't prematurely request a cuddle.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
9 Tips to online dating - for the dudes
Men, you don't have to listen to me, but you might want to listen, I sometimes actually know what I am talking about...
2. Interest and persistence is great, but don't send the same email 10 times to the same girl. And if by far off chance the girl does actually respond, don't annoy her and send her 10 more emails, especially when you know she is a busy girl and waaaay out of your league. P.S. Props to writing a girl who is out of your league, but please at least pretend be cool.
3. If you want to "talk" to a girl, you might want to keep the conversation going and ask her a question or two. That goes for real life girls too. Be cool men, be cool, you can do it!
4. Be Positive. I personally would not start a profile out with all the No's, it's just so negative and it is even worse when the Negative Ned is a single 39 year old male, his no's consist of: no widowers, no one with kids, no tattoos and no one who is married --> best of lucky buddy, best of luck.
5. Never should you ever have a body shot (body shot = pic of your body, usually cutting of your head). Even if you do have a killer bod, no need to show that off, there will be time for it...doing the bod shot, especially as your main image is really fucking cheesy and lame.
6. Don't send girls wiener pictures without them requesting it, even if you really think she wants it, she probably does not and it is really not cool and totally creepy.
7. If you are trying to get a girl to go out with you, you probably should not call her a liar or tell her she is being a dick.
8. Refrain from acting like a jealous boyfriend after one meeting or never meeting.
9. Refrain from saying how much you miss her after 24 hours of meeting her in the flesh. No need to be a creepster. Feelings are fine, you don't need to share them quite yet.
2. Interest and persistence is great, but don't send the same email 10 times to the same girl. And if by far off chance the girl does actually respond, don't annoy her and send her 10 more emails, especially when you know she is a busy girl and waaaay out of your league. P.S. Props to writing a girl who is out of your league, but please at least pretend be cool.
3. If you want to "talk" to a girl, you might want to keep the conversation going and ask her a question or two. That goes for real life girls too. Be cool men, be cool, you can do it!
4. Be Positive. I personally would not start a profile out with all the No's, it's just so negative and it is even worse when the Negative Ned is a single 39 year old male, his no's consist of: no widowers, no one with kids, no tattoos and no one who is married --> best of lucky buddy, best of luck.
5. Never should you ever have a body shot (body shot = pic of your body, usually cutting of your head). Even if you do have a killer bod, no need to show that off, there will be time for it...doing the bod shot, especially as your main image is really fucking cheesy and lame.
6. Don't send girls wiener pictures without them requesting it, even if you really think she wants it, she probably does not and it is really not cool and totally creepy.
7. If you are trying to get a girl to go out with you, you probably should not call her a liar or tell her she is being a dick.
8. Refrain from acting like a jealous boyfriend after one meeting or never meeting.
9. Refrain from saying how much you miss her after 24 hours of meeting her in the flesh. No need to be a creepster. Feelings are fine, you don't need to share them quite yet.
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