I Didn't Even Know We Were Together

Sometimes I am oblivious, not to  much, but with dudes, kind of oblivious. Some might call me a flirt, but really I am kind of retarded.

First kisses, super awkward, once we get past that, than we are ok, as long as you like to laugh, maybe get bitten and scratched a little.

Talk too straight forward in the courting process when I am not into you, you are out.

Pull away too much in the courting process, also out.

There is a very fine line men and most of you probably haven't a clue where I stand with you. Maybe I should start pulling their hair or throwing things at them.



All is fine and good with sober flirting...

When I have been drinking, it can get even weirder.

Still kind of retarded, but a little more open (shocker I know). So, picture this, packed bar, lots of men and me. I am in heaven, almost overwhelmed, but not at all really. Just taking it all in.

I may be oblivious, but only sometimes and often, I really only play oblivious. My grandmother always said I had a look in my eye at all times that said "I know something you don't know and I'm not gonna tell ya."



Some people (who clearly do not know me), think I am oblivious. Guess I fooled those suckers. When it comes to other human's contact, I see and hear most things, I'd probably be a killer match maker...

The other night, I watch some guy scan the bar, he glances at me, I see him look at his friend standing next to me, I think, hmmm, what's his plan of attack? I look away and then a second later, he is next to me, he has come in for the kill. The kill being me. He strategically plants himself between his friend (married) and me.

We all talk, his friend leaves, he stays. We talk some more, kind of an awkward convo, something about his parents owning a street somewhere, but he doesn't want to talk about it, but whatever, I laugh. I talk to other people, I talk to him. We have so much in common, says he. He then all of a sudden notices all the men in the bar, funny enough, he wants to get me out of the bar, says something about all the guys are hitting on me and he doesn't want to fight them (he is man, hear him roar)...I laugh and remind him that they are all drunk, so it's not really hitting on. I finally consent to switching up locations.

 

We  relocate, we talk, we laugh, we discuss marriage and kids, men's favorite topic as of late, jeez. He wants to go to yet another bar, maybe a bar where I don't know everyone or don't talk to everyone (best of luck with that). I consent and say "let's go, I am gonna run to the restroom first, be right back." I do my thing, I come back out and my friend (who has been sitting outside the entire time) says "I think you were just dumped".  I consider what he is saying, look around for a second and sit down realizing dude is no longer there, so I look at my friend and say, "I didn't even know we were together, I wonder if I should be mad."