Yes, Both Of My Parents Gave Me Sex Talks

Don't know about you, but I started getting sex talks from my parents at a very young age. I asked my mom why once and she said it was because I always understood about sex. I laughed at sex jokes as a small child, when the adults were laughing, I laughed, they would ask, do you understand what that means? And, I would reply yes and then explain...in detail.

                                            

I always did like males and they seemed to like me too, especially the old guys (what the fuck is that about?!). Anyway, not the point. I acquired my first boyfriend at age 15, it would have been sooner if it hadn't taken me a year to convince him he was in love with me. Regardless, the sex talks started way before that. 

This boyfriend, lived far far away, in a far off land of non west side LA, so sometimes he would sleep over. My dad made him sleep on a different level of the house as me. He had to keep his daughter safe (knowing I am very much like him).

When I acquired this boyfriend, the sex talks started getting more and more frequent...From what I remember, my mom's sex talks went something like this:

"Don't be stupid use a condom. Sex is more emotional than you think, but still don't be stupid use a condom."

My mom now has no shame talking about all things sex. Golden showers and she is even kind enough to inform me what glory holes are and where I can find them if ever interested. She really gives me the info about the things I need to know in life.

My dad's sex talks started early too and were a bit more awkward. he was trying to be the responsible adult and put the fear of god or fear of babies in me.  Although his talks were pretty much along the same lines as my mom's, he had to throw in the obligatory dad comment of "guys just want one thing, to get in your pants."
Little does he know, that I know what he proclaimed to my mom and grandmother after he delivered me from my mom's vag. I will save that comment for another time.

I am not really sure my parents ever really gave me the "when a man and a woman really love each other" speech, I mean, they may have tried, but I don't think so. I did have a few books explaining sex as a good, I think those covered the man and woman loving each other stuff. I also had another one about not letting weird people touch you in your "no zones".

I remember once, my dad and I were getting ready to pick my brother up from somewhere and I could tell he was getting ready to say something that was going to make us both feel weird and then he sprung it on me, do you know how you get pregnant? I was like, huh? Well, when a man and a woman really love each other....he cut me off and advised that I cut the shit, do you know how you could get pregnant. 

And then there was my little brother. Was he given sex talks? I don't know. Did his girlfriends have to sleep on different levels of the house? Nope, because that little fucker can't get pregnant.
My dad just informed me that it's not like making my ex sleep on a different level of the house ever kept me from doing anything. No wonder.

I couldn't resist...